We need to stop romanticising being part of a twosome. Every soul is whole and complete from the moment of conception. We are one in the love of the Creator and that is all that matters. Once we leave the palace of the womb, some kicking and screaming louder than others, we are received into various familial structures that start to shape our range of emotions and connection with the world.
Every soul is whole and complete from the moment of conception.
Do not confuse this as advocating for isolation and ‘each to his/her own’. That’s another societal dysfunction that plays out amidst growing inequality and heightened insularity. We need greater diversity, more inclusivity and a broad-sweeping return to Ubuntu, in order to alleviate many of our socio-economic ills. Rather, this is about challenging the ‘need’ that many seem to have, to be part of a pair.
What society does extremely well is position romantic or sexual relationships as the panacea of happiness. I do not deny that these can provide some enjoyment and pleasure, but real happiness has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else! I struggled with this concept for many years, right into my 30s. I thought it had to do with my particular upbringing, but I still see young women in their 20s as well as older women, who grapple with their single status. It breaks my heart as I see myself in every one of them. I feel the pain, the heartache, the sense of abandonment. Cause it feels like we’ve been abandoned in the cruelest way.
Oh, you will find someone/some people who will appear to be Mr/Ms Right, but this will only give you interludes of “happiness” and ultimately continue to perpetuate the cycle of loneliness.
Here’s the truth. You cannot find love, real, meaningful love, if you have not learnt to love yourself. Oh, you will find someone/some people who will appear to be Mr/Ms Right, but this will only give you interludes of “happiness” and ultimately continue to perpetuate the cycle of loneliness. The very thing that you’re trying to escape. My moment of revelation came when I understood the power of attraction. If you are not comfortable with yourself, in whatever way, you send that vibration to the Universe and that is what is returned to you.
If you think that I’m anti-marriage or relationships, you’re wrong. Being in a mature, committed relationship is just another channel for further self-development and discovery. Companionship, joy, happiness and all that good stuff is one aspect, but like everything in the Universe, it has an opposite. One cannot grow without pain and strife. There’s no way around it.
You are worthy of love. Exactly as you are. Today. This moment. Find the love within and prepare to open yourself to a world of discovery and growth.
To be continued…