Single Is Not Sinful! Part I

Are you longing, pining to be part of a duo that brings you ‘happily ever after’? The wedding industry gets 10 on 10 for perpetuating the fairytale, creating a multi-million-rand sector that can sell ice to an Inuit. Perfectly rational women, even those doing it for a second or third time, morph into emotional freaks in pursuit of the ‘perfect’ day. What fascinates me is the dedication; the time, money and resources. “I have to have the purple tulips” even if they’re not in season. Or, “I’ve wanted a five-tiered cake since I was a little girl”. Some embark on drastic diet regimes to fit into a particular dress or look a certain way, which they achieve, and then never ever look that way again. I’ve seen a few wedding pics where there’s absolutely no resemblance between the bride and the person today. Surprised that many relationships struggle?

Perfectly rational women, even those doing it for a second or third time, morph into emotional freaks in pursuit of the ‘perfect’ day.

You’re still thinking, “So what’s wrong with that?”. Sure, we all love to look beautiful and be the centre of attention. Hey, I love a good wedding. But it’s the aftermath; once all the gifts have been opened, after you’ve shared all the fabulous pics of the day and the honeymoon, when it’s just the two of you [and others, depending on your personal circumstances]. It’s no longer lights, camera, action. It’s more like life, drama, reaction. Cause here’s the reality; a beautiful, happy day does not change who you or your partner are. It merely acts as a your favourite body lotion or oil; moisturising and nourishing the surface, but never really anti-ageing or removing wrinkles and stretch marks, as it promises.

 

The excitement of the engagement [if you have one] and the planning, especially those that go on for years, often mask real issues that we chose to ignore. Am I saying don’t get married or don’t have a wedding? No. That would be hypocritical. I’m merely saying that you are currently single because that’s where God wants you to be. You’re a Girl Who God Told To Wait. Listen to Him.

 

Now I understand that if you’ve labelled yourself ‘single’ this does not necessarily mean that you are not ‘entertaining’ any dates, suitors, exes, ‘friends with benefits’ and so on. SoMe has added a whole new dimension to dating that makes it much easier. Yes, it may widen your dating pool, but if you’re not clear on who you are or what you want, you’re opening yourself up for heartache.

“When two broken people bring their broken pieces together, chances are they will never become whole anything”

The fact is, “When two broken people bring their broken pieces together, chances are they will never become whole anything”, some powerful words from Iyanla Vanzant. This just creates more of the chaos, pain and hurt that you need to move away from. Whatever your circumstances, your journey or your truth, you’ve been led to this place. You need time to heal. Only you can do it. For yourself.

 

To be continued…