There Is A Time For Everything

There is a time for everything. Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8. This is my favourite verse in the entire Bible. If you just understand this, it alone will bring you a lifetime of peace and tranquility.

I’ve always had an older soul. One of the first indications of this was that my Mum treated me as an adult, she would often confide in me, spoke freely around me. Bear in mind that she passed away when I was 17, so from a young age, I was exposed to ‘older issues’. Perhaps it comes with being the eldest.

Another indication was that, as I got into high school, I preferred to hang out with older friends. I just fitted in. At boarding school, in Standard 6, I had friends in all the standards above. Sure, I had friends in my age group, but I had an affinity with the older girls. Then Mum’s early passing added another dimension to this. I guess after always hearing ‘so you’re the mother in the family now’, perception eventually becomes reality and you actually start believing that, and behaving, as though you’re older.

When love and support does not flow in your home, you tend to look for it elsewhere.

With Mum gone, and a father trying to deal with his own grief as he saw fit, we were pretty much left to figure out life on our own. Having an older group of friends meant that I was exposed to experiences that could have been delayed, and without strong parental guidance, it meant that I had to figure out things on my own. Confusing at times. Often painful. When love and support does not flow in your home, you tend to look for it elsewhere. This is when The Girl Who God Told To Wait was born…

You see, The Girl Who God Told To Wait lives within each one of us when we’re at odds with His will and His desire for us. When we don’t live with a thankful spirit, when we don’t believe in our own value and worth, when we are not at peace and most importantly, when we don’t look to Him for guidance and support. It means that we do not trust in His timing and are too consumed by the ‘noise and clutter’ that we cannot live each day to the fullest.

On my journey inward, I came across Eckhart Tolle, author of several powerful books including ‘The Power of Now’. He says that “Nothing has happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now” and believes that if you truly live in the now, you will have no need for photographs since you will have taken in the moment, experienced it fully and therefore have no need for recollection. Irreconcilable in the age of the selfie.

When you’re entertaining external distraction that is creating internal turmoil, you are easily side-tracked.

I realised that there are times in my past that are complete blanks. I cannot recall detail, I struggle to figure out how certain people came into my life at particular times. It was all a blur. I do, however, remember the feelings, the emotions, the uneasiness, the deep-rooted pain. When you’re entertaining external distraction that is creating internal turmoil, you are easily side-tracked. I was a hot mess. And I spent way too much time and effort longing for a boyfriend, then a husband, and a family, that was at the centre of all my heart-ache.

It’s easy to look back now and be thankful that I made it through. It’s tinged with many cringe-worthy moments and sometimes a sigh, ‘if only I had known’. But regret has no place in growth and moving forward, and I know that I would not be the woman that I am today if I had not gone through my trials. I love the Girl Who God Told To Wait. She’s still waiting, since she’s not done yet. She has a lifetime of dreams and two young boys under 4 to parent into adulthood. The difference is that she’s now waiting in grace and gratitude.  You can do the same.

Put Your Hand Up If You Hate Waiting

What is it about waiting that disturbs us? It rocks us to the core. As individuals, as a collective. Patience is not a virtue as we hurry through our lives, essentially wishing away simple, special moments in pursuit of what tomorrow will bring. The happiness we hope it will bring. Many times, to a point of desperation and anxiety.

I was guilty of that for much of my youth. And such is the power of this emotional programming that, even in my 40s, I’m still ‘decoding’ the years of ingrained negative processing that lives like a parasite in the realm of the mind. I know the power of positivity. I know the laws of attraction. I know the power of love and peace.  I’m smart like that, aren’t we all? But every now and then, the parasite of fear and despair worms its way in.

The truth is that our souls are born whole and it is the essence of the little child, who came into this world full of innocence, determination and above all, love.

I’m a Girl Who God Told To Wait. The truth is that our souls are born whole and it is the essence of the little child, who came into this world full of innocence, determination and above all, love. Because God is love and we are made in His image. We are totally at peace, yet through the journey of life, many get lost along the way. For me, it can be traced back to the loss of my mother as a teenager. The mourning led to a search for external love. With the result, I was never able to find quiet and calm, therefore not able to listen to God when He spoke to me. Not able to interpret when He was telling me to wait.

The Girl Who God Told To Wait was born from a cynical position as I would often say “the story of my life has been to wait; nothing ever comes easy”. This has since evolved into an introspective journey that has led to the understanding that God made me wait, through a series of unpleasant and sometimes painful life lessons, as He had no other choice but to force me to listen through the noise and clutter of my life. He does that, in His inimitable way. When you don’t get the lesson, he sends it again and again and again. For as long as you’re willing to entertain it.

This is my journey to complete wholeness in love and peace. Please join me.